Doggy Doctors?

Several years ago at my wife’s uncle’s funeral, we were surprise to see printed in the obituary the dog’s name listed before the son’s among her uncle’s survivors. However, as the son shared remarks about his dad, it became obvious that over the years his father had a much better relationship with his dog than with his son. Yet, as strange as this story might seem, whenever we are out of town and my wife calls home to check in on our adult children, her first question is not: “How are you all doing?” but, “How are my babies doing?”--referring to our two Shih Tzu dogs.

While this kind of devotion to pets is hard for non-pet owners to understand, pets are much more than furry loyal companions. According to numerous studies, they improve our health, both mental and physical, helping us to live longer and happier lives. Studies over the past 25 years have shown that stroking a dog or cat can lower blood pressure and heart rate and boost levels of the mood-related brain chemicals serotonin and dopamine. Heart attack sufferers recover more quickly and survive longer when they have a pet at home, and children who are exposed to pets early in life may have a reduced risk of allergies and asthma.

Studies performed in nursing homes and hospitals have proven that the elderly in particular can benefit from the companionship of a dog or cat. Having a pet to care for helps reduce boredom and encourages seniors to nurture themselves just as they are caring for their pets. Dogs and cats -- even a tank of goldfish -- calm frazzled nerves and ease anxiety and depression, according to research. One bipolar pet owner wrote: "When I was unstable my symptoms included extreme mania and severe depression, including three suicide attempts. I would have attempted suicide numerous other times if it had not been for my pets."[1] Recently, while I was counseling someone suffering from depression which was no longer responding to antidepressants, I not only recommended adopting a pet, but I accompanied the person to the rescue shelter to ensure that the adoption was made that day.

Depression is so prevalent that one woman in eight will experience clinical depression in her lifetime. It is the number one cause of disability in women. In fact, even though women are twice as likely to have depression, men are four times as likely to commit suicide. Over 6 million men in America have depression each year. However, this number is likely higher as many go unreported due to men not seeing a clinician; the signs and symptoms are often much different in men than in women and frequently go unrecognized and untreated, leading to personal, family and financial difficulties, and, in some cases, end in suicide. Siegel (1999) showed that AIDS-infected men without pets were two times more likely to report depression than AIDS-infected men who owned pets. Please do not be deceived. Christians too get depressed-sometimes very depressed; even to the point of suicide.

I am convinced that many singles that struggle with loneliness and urges to have a baby could benefit from owning a pet. In addition, I believe churches and other faith-based and government organizations should explore the creation of pet ownership programs for single women that might potentially aid in the curbing of unwed pregnancies.

Bottom line: Why do pets make us feel better? One reason is that all types of animals offer distractions from the worries of the day, because we naturally shift our attention to them when they are around. Another reason is that pets provide an opportunity to touch and stroke another living thing, which has been shown to be of value to our mental and physical health. Pets also provide an incredible amount of unconditional love and acceptance. (As comforting and loving as our dogs are, unfortunately one (Peppi) suffers from anxiety and will probably one day be on antidepressants himself. And no, I have not and will not consider getting him a psychotherapist. However, we probably should consider letting Peppi adopt a pet for his depression.) Finally, animals are a gift from God created for our physical, emotional, and spiritual benefit. The bible says, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”[2] And “everything” include dogs, cats, and Guinea pigs. By the way, I’m hoping to one day implement a “Family, Friends, and Pets Day” at our church.

[1] Terry Coyier, Depression and Pet Ownership
[2] 2 Peter 1:3 (NIV)

Teaching Your Teen the Facts of Sexting

Step One

Sit your teen down for an open discussion about sexting. Ask your teen if they have ever sent or received sexually explicit messages. Don’t act shocked if the answer is yes, because overreacting will not only cause your teen to clam up but wil think you’re out of touch with reality. Reassure them that you know they are good, and that you trust them completely, but that they have to be aware of the dangers of even receiving these kinds of images.

Talk the matter over, make sure you let them talk and express themselves, even if it is to disagree with you. They will always remember your advice, even if they argue with you at the time. If your teen has a cell phone capable of receiving picture messages, you need decide if your child really needs a phone that can handle picture messages. There are a lot of phones and cell phone plans that offer talk time and text messages without pictures. Consider this not only as a security measure, but a money saving issue.


Step Two

Sexting can target teens for abuse. Explain how sending sexually suggestive pictures of themselves or other people can result in a huge invasion of privacy. While teens might classify sexting as "just having a little fun," let them know that others might see it differently. Sexting might give others the impression that they or their friends are slutty and a target for verbal, possibly even physical, abuse. They could lose friends since other parents are liable to forbid their kids from hanging out with someone caught sexting.

Your teen needs to know that the repercussions are far-reaching and can have an impact on their lives now and in the future. Part of being a teen is exploring sexuality, and pushing the boundaries of rules and laws - it's been that way for a thousand years. But the Internet can be a very unforgiving place, and having a nude picture or a long-forgotten forum post related to sexting pop up years down the road can be harmful, not to mention embarrassing.


Step Three

Explain to your teen that criminal charges from sexting will not only be a traumatizing experience, it will also cost you money in fines, attorneys and legal fees. Also explain the consequences that the person may suffer later on as a result of sensitive sexually explicit pictures out in the general public. It could possibly ruin a relationship, potential employment and could even be exposed to your future children even further down the road.

Even though it may be embarrassing for you and you’re teen to discuss such issues openly, a little sharing of information now can honestly prevent one or many disastrous situations from happening and affecting lives. Share with your teen that there are already many cases on the books of 14- and 15-year old teens who have been prosecuted for among other things, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, by forwarding a nude picture of themselves to another. There are also cases of teens being caught sexting that have been suspended from school activities. Your teen could be suspended from cheerleading, football, the debate team or any activity they're in.


Step Four

Talk to the parents of your children's friends. Make sure they know about this problem and communicate to their children as well. This is the type of problem where just a few bad apples can ruin the lives of many good kids.

Don't snoop around on your child's cell phone. If you want to see what is on it, do so by asking and being up front, teenagers are very sensitive about their privacy. Make sure your child knows he or she can come to you if they think they have received something illegal. Talk to a lawyer if you think your child may be in actual trouble. They will know how to handle the issue.


Some Alarming Sexting Statistics:

The percent of teenagers who have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures or video of themselves:

• 20% of teenagers overall
• 22% of teen girls
• 18% of teen boys
• 11% of young teen girls ages 13-16
  

The percent of teenagers sending or posting sexually suggestive messages:

• 39% of all teenagers
• 37% of teen girls
• 40% of teen boys

Other Alarming Facts:

• 44 % of both teen girls and teen boys say it is common for sexually suggestive text messages to get shared with people other than the intended recipient.
• 36 % of teen girls and 39 % of teen boys say it is common for nude or semi-nude photos to get shared with people other than the intended recipient.
• 51 % of teen girls say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexy messages or images; only 18 % of teen boys cited pressure from female counterparts as a reason.
• 34 % of teen girls say they sent or posted sexually suggestive content to "feel sexy."
• 12 % of teen girls felt "pressured" to send sexually suggestive messages or images